WWF = Wild Wedding Fight!

All of the elegant trappings of a wedding are in place. The dresses are bought and the tuxedos are rented. The hall is decorated and the food is being served. Everyone in attendance is dressed up and ready for a fun night. The Bride & Groom have thought of everything. They even thought to treat the guests with an open bar all night. That was the wrong thing to do in this case.

A few years back I was the disc jockey at a wedding that turned into a segment from WWE instead of the fairy tale it was supposed to be. The night was going great. People were laughing, dancing and having a great time but near the end of the night things took an odd twist. As I was prepping the next song two female guests converged in front of my DJ table to discuss another guest who had been saying some malicious stuff about the other. I watched as they traversed the dance floor to confront the guest in question. Seeing that they were clear across the dance floor I couldn’t hear what they were saying but based on the animated arm gestures and finger pointing I could tell it was not very civil. Then it happened. The ‘bad’ guest moved the bottle of beer that was in her right to her left and cold-cocked the woman in front of her with a vicious right hook. BAM!

As I said, the music was still thumping so not many people heard the ruckus that erupted just off the dance floor. As the final few notes of the last song faded away they soon realized that there was a battle going on. The Bride & Groom were in disbelief as to what they saw at their wedding and quickly ran out of the room. Within a few minutes the hotel’s crack security officer; an imposing figure resembling Barney Fife was in the room and ready to take charge. By that time more people joined in the melee while others tried to pull the women apart. “Barney” had the bad guest by the arm and was leading her out of the room while the other guests shouted some lively comments at her. Once outside of the room she made quick work of Officer Fife, shook loose and came barreling back into the ballroom throwing haymaker’s at the her opponents – ding, ding ~ Round 2!

Once the dust settled and all of the guests were properly restrained it was time to survey the damage. One guest, dressed in what was once a nice spaghetti-strapped gown, was now holding it up as one of the straps was now torn away. Another woman was headed towards the ladies room to tend to the (4) claw-like scratches that went from her tricep to her bicep. And another guest climbed atop the head table and continued to shout expletive laced comments at our ‘villain’ who was again being restrained by B. Fife.

Andy Griffith’s trusted deputy must have called for some backup as we were soon joined by 6-8 members of the local police department. After order was restored in the ballroom four of them stationed themselves near the hotel exit to make sure no one was leaving that might have been over-served. The others hung out in the ballroom enjoying the cake, coffee and tea that was setup after dinner.

It’s been almost ten years since that night and I am happy to say I have never seen anything that comes close to that.